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'Gossip Girl': Sweet Child of Mine

Lily and Rufus team up to find their child who was given up for adoption, Chuck holds on to Blair for support, and Jenny is ready to take on the mean girls

Happy New Year, TV Watchers. What did you ask Santa for? I wanted Chuck Bass’s uncle to be hot, Little J. to stop hitting levels of Taylor Swift-obnoxiousness, and for Aaron Rose to disappear. Apparently, I was a very good boy this year because I got all of those things. Although, Jenny is still rocking that painful razored cut.

First off, let’s just all praise the wise judgment of the Girl producers to cut dead weight — I mean — Aaron loose. It’s like a big stinky cheese was removed, and now everything smells rosy. Boy, it sure didn’t take Serena long to get over that relationship. She and Dan almost started dry humping in the school hallways. Um, hello, hall monitor! Someone needs to be watching these kids. In any case, I’m kinda already tired of Dan and Serena being back together. They’re like the romantic equivalent of steamed rice — bland, bland, bland. Sure, they’re beautiful but they’re also kinda dullsville. That was a ridiculous moment, too, when Dan was on the phone with Rufus and promised not to tell Serena about the illegitimate child, even though she was standing like three inches from the conversation.

I never thought I’d say this but I was totally digging Jenny last night. I love Nelly Yuki, so any chance she gets to pop back up is reason for celebration. (Confession: I once broke my glasses in middle school and had to wear tape in the middle of them. Yes, Nelly Yuki brought back some sad adolescent memories.) But it was nice to see Jenny finally acting like a teenager, and by that I mean being manipulative and bitchy. Her face-offs with Penelope were priceless, especially when she alerted them that their secrets were out and about to go on Gossip Girl. The mean girls overall were really hilarious, like when Penelope called her father to rat on Jenny for ''bullying'' her. One complaint: Who goes to Pinkberry in the middle of winter? But I love that Jenny thought she was helping Nelly, and the whole time Nelly thought Jenny was attempting to rule the school. Does it make anyone else a little sad that Jenny and Eric seem to have no other friends besides each other? Nelly appeared to be bringing their group to a whopping three people, but then she dropped them like hot hipster potatoes. To be fair, if Jenny showed up at a club dressed in a metallic purple dress, I’d probably opt for the mean girls too.

Nice casting with Jack Bass, Chuck’s uncle. Desmond Harrington not only looks like Robert John Burke but also is one tall drink of water. He managed to retrieve what was left of Chuck after what appears to be quite a bit of bong hitting and beer drinking. (Blair line of the night: ''I’m surprised they made it through customs. Chuck’s body odor could have given a contact high to half of Manhattan.'') Despite Blair’s attempts to pull him back from the dark side, Chuck seems to have given up hope. And ties. And suits. Although, he did wear a quite bright yellow sweater which had the trace of Old Chuck. During Chuck’s downward spiral, there was a nice return to Victrola. I thought Chuck sold Victrola in order to help out the Archibald’s. Or did I hallucinate that? Um, how in the world did Eric get into that bar? I understand Chuck, Dan, and Serena faking their way in, but Eric looks like he’s a 12-year-old kid dressing up as a businessman for Halloween. Overall, I hope this dark and sad Chuck doesn’t last for too long because I much prefer the flirty and mischievous Chuck. I think this whole story line just made you notice how much energy he and Blair bring to the show and, when they’re all weepy, it brings the show down a bit.

What the hell is this Colony Club thing Blair wants to be in so badly? From the looks of the members, it was like some kind of argyle enthusiasts club for 50-year-old women. It was touching, though ,watching her balance her silly society stuff while genuinely worrying about Chuck. Thankfully, she’s got my girl Dorota to lean on. I did love the moment when one of the wives said that she saw Serena on Page Six and often saw a little too much of her. It was probably a photo someone took of Serena leaving a Yale interview. The big revelation though was that something appears to have happened between Blair and Jack on New Year’s Eve. Isn’t he like 20 years older than her? I’m guessing alcohol played some part in their hook-up, as it does with most New Year’s interactions. Still, I’m not sure I buy Blair cheating on Chuck, if that is indeed what happened. I did like that Blair noted Chuck’s preference for rooftops; I think we’re close to three rooftop moments and counting for the young Mr. Bass.

So we learned that Lily and Rufus’ love baby is, in fact, a male. Note to CW casting dept: Please pick someone hot. I think we all learned a valuable lesson from the whole Aaron debacle. Gossip Girl is fantasy. We’re not tuning in for regular lookin’ folk. If I wanted to stare at the common folk, I’d watch Deal or No Deal. While we’re at it, I don’t like Rufus in turtlenecks. That man is a Western shirt kinda guy; I don’t think his wardrobe should deviate from that. It looks like Lily and Rufus will be MIA for a bit while they track down this missing son. Don’t you love how Rufus just calls his teenage son and is like, ''Yo. I gotta peace out for an unknown amount of time. Good luck.'' Nice parenting, Rufus. I can see now why you feel the need to find your other child.

And finally...Dear Nate and Vanessa,

Where are you?

What did you think of last night’s Gossip Girl? What will Rufus and Lily’s son be like? Will Dorota ever become a regular castmember?

www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20250235_2,00.html

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'Gossip Girl': All Chucked up

I let out a few huge sighs of relief during tonight's episode of "Gossip Girl." One because it's finally back from what seemed like an eternal winter break. Another because it was apparent that a majority of the episode was going to be dedicated to Chuck and Blair. And lastly because Lily's and Rufus' long lost love child is male and not Georgina Sparks. Phew!

The central story, of course, involved Chuck's magnificent return to the Upper East Side. Not only would we believe he'd shack up in a Thai opium den for the holiday break, we'd also believe he'd emerge from the haze unaware of how he got back. He got some help from Uncle Jack Bass, Bart's brother who has sleaze seeping out of his pores. His and Blair's possible dirty, little New Year's secret already has me shuddering. They can't have hooked up, can they? Gross.

But back to Chuck. Ed Westwick apparently didn't exhaust his entire range of depressive, numbed or defiant looks in the funeral episode because he saved a few more for this one. Chuck's hopelessness, however, wasn't the most interesting aspect; it was Blair's reaction to it. Someone give that girl an Emmy! She's proved to be a master of the stifled cry, and although her love for Chuck is strong and genuine, it's by no means simple. Blair is just as tortured and dysfunctional as he is, which makes them the perfect TV teen couple of this generation.

Now that we've brought up dysfunction, can we talk about the Lily-Rufus-Dan-Serena situation? I didn't breathe a sigh of relief when Dan and Serena reunited because it was in jeopardy before I could even exhale. That extra breath instead went toward a gasp at the revelation that mystery Baby Van Der Humphrey was male. The wheels are already turning over who and where he could be.

In the midst of the drama, Jenny reenters the halls of Constance Billard with a newfound attitude and confidence. I also interpreted her grown-out roots as a symbol of her shedding her past persona (Her beauty choices make the best metaphors). I'm happy she and Eric got ample screen time and that it involved high school high jinks, an element that's been missing for a long while.

Time for your thoughts. Do you think Blair and Uncle Jack hooked up? Will Lily's and Rufus' son be a new character or someone we've already met?

xoxo

—Enid Portuguez

latimesblogs.latimes.com/showtracker/2009/01/gossip-girl-all.html

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'Gossip Girl' Recap: The Son Also Rises

I'm not sure twist-a-palooza is an actual term but that just feels like the most appropriate description of last night's Gossip Girl. Hookers! Skeevy uncles! Dead sons! Alive sons! Chuck bringing Blair flowers!

It's so nice to have bad boy Chuck back! And I actually was kind of moved that Bart left Chuck controlling stake in Bass Industries. He actually believed in his little dapper dude. Also, thanks for showing up Nate. Where the hell have you been this whole time? But back to Chuck, I like this whole power struggle between him and his eeeeevil Uncle Jack. And whatever gets him back to his party boy days is fine by me! One thing that bugged me: How old were those escorts that Jack arranged to swing by? They looked like they rode Razor scooters over.

Poor Blair is just a glutton for punishment. She's trying her darnedest to get Chuck to be a good man and a steady boyfriend but he can't help but sway over to the dark side. Also, that dress she wore for their dinner date that never happened was AH-MAZING. You know I love anything that sparkles!

Well, we now know that Vanessa has a hankering for both caffeine and gummy candy. It's almost like she's a well-rounded character! Or more like a walking cavity. Who goes to the candy store past the age of 12? Granted it is the classy and famous Dylan's Candy Store but still. At least we know she's alive after being MIA. I can't believe I'm about to endorse something Vanessa wore but I did like the coat and the bag she wore to Dylan's Candy Shop. I'm not sure I believe Nelly Yuki being malicious and stealing Dan's phone. His sister just tried to help her last week and now she's all about sabotaging Dan? The highlight of this whole scene, though, was definitely the return of the trio of young Gossip Girl readers. Their takedown of Vanessa was genius: ''Dating Nate Archibald after striking out with Dan Humphrey? Talk about dating upwards.'' Tell it like it is, girls.

I'm a little surprised that the GG gays, Eric and Jonathan, are being so patient and supportive of Little J., especially now that she keeps interrupting their romantic times. And, personally, I would not tolerate that haircut. If she wanted to interrupt my dinner date, there would first have to be a quick trip to the salon. Speaking of, that little braid she rocked at the big brunch looked like the equivalent of a more stylish rat-tail. Please, no more. Anyways, if the gays drop her, who's she gonna hang out with? Dorota? There are basically zero high schoolers left who could tolerate splitting a green tea Pinkberry with her. While we're on the subject of people who hate Jenny, I'm totally into the mean girls, especially Penelope. With Georgina out of the picture (at least for the moment), the show really needs a villain and these ladies are a welcome vicious circle.

The most dramatic moment of the evening was definitely the surprise brunch that Blair threw for Chuck. Also, it was the setting for my favorite Blair line of the night, directed at the judgmental Serena: ''Spare me those expressive eyebrows. I can't wait until you get Botox.'' And I love when Eric told Jenny she was being annoying. I've been waiting for someone to say that, I mean, beside myself each week in these recaps! The truth finally came out about the Lily and Rufus' love child, and the kids seemed to all take it fairly well.

That was a fairly racy little moment that Blair and the board members caught Chuck in. It looked like he was snorting something amidst the half-naked ladies! Hello 8 o'clock show! As much as I like Chuck and Blair together, she had to give up on him. And the flowers were a nice touch but, take note unfaithful men, a trip to the florist can't trump a night with whores. Once you catch your crush doing drugs and surrounded by half-naked ho's, you gotta cut and run. That concludes this week's Gossip Girl dating lesson.

Well, I guess Lily and Rufus have made up! Apparently, searching for the illegitimate son they gave up for adoption is some kind of aphrodisiac because the two got it on. And is it me or is Rufus flat-ironing his hair? Maybe he stole Nate's when he was staying with the Humphreys? This whole Lily and Rufus baby thing is really weird in terms of its effect on Serena, Dan, Eric, and Jenny. As Serena told Eric, ''I had a enough trouble with mom and Rufus dating. But now I share a sibling with my boyfriend? That's a little more hillbilly than I can handle.'' Like are they all now considered step-siblings? Because S. and Dan have totally done the nasty and that is, well, gross. It sure looked like they were moving forward as a family from the final scene of everyone at the Humphrey abode. But, of course the big news is that the adopted parents of Lily and Rufus' son, Andrew, lied to them about him being alive. They made up some story about him drowning because they had already lost one son and weren't about to lose another. Do you think the other son was the one that drowned? Or did something else mysterious happen? I'm totally into this story line but, again I would like to plead with CW casting, if Andrew does eventually show up, he needs to be attractive; please don't Aaron Rose us again. I can't go through it. I won't.

What did you think of this week's Gossip Girl? Will Chuck get back control of Bass Industries? Why is Jenny so annoying? What's the deal with Andrew?

www.ew.com/ew/article/0,,20251968_2,00.html